Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Teaser Tuesday

I haven't posted in over a week. Bad blogger! Bad!

I can't even blame NaNo madness, since I gave up on that. You know those characters who just won't. Shut. Up? Well, those are the sort of characters I've got in my WIP. They wouldn't let me leave them. Not even for a couple hours. They kidnapped me and duct taped me to a chair, I swear.

So I followed the advice of everyone who commented on my last post and surrendered. :)

The good news is I have now slashed 48 386 words from my WIP!! In fact, I have probably slashed more than that, but I replaced some of them with shiny new words so they didn't really count.

*scuttles off to find shiny new words to tease with*

Mmkayy. Found something. Anyone else tweak their teasers incessantly before posting and become completely unsatisfied with them? XD It's a smidge on the long side, and also a smidge on the dark side. And um, yes, that is all.


I hesitated, chewing on my lip. Finally I said, “Maybe I should come then.”

Sade was shaking his head before I had finished talking. “No. No, love. You don’t want to see that.”

"You just said it wouldn’t be that bad.”

“Compared to seeing someone get riddled with shrapnel, it isn't.”

“Then maybe I should get used to it, if it’s worse on the lines.”

He glared at me. “You’re not going to be on the lines.”

“Yes, I will.”

"No, you won't.”

"Yes, I will!”

He lit his cigarette, biting back a retort. “I’m not going to argue with you.”

“You already are,” I muttered.

“I-” He stopped, and blew out a stream of smoke. “I’m going to be late. Someone will come get you when it’s over, alright?” He started to walk away.

I went after him. “I want to come.”

He stopped, looking skyward, and turned back toward me. “Mina, please.”

I had the faint sense that I was being ridiculous because I really did not want to go. But my going to Dez’s execution – I shivered just thinking the words – had somehow become tied to me going out to the lines with them. “I want to come,” I said again, “If Miko’s going, I should go too.”

"Go inside.”



"I want to come.”

"You don't.”

"I do.”

"You shouldn't.”

"But I do!”


"Why not?”

“Because I’m the one who has to shoot him!"

"I – what?"

He looked away. "I don’t want you seeing that.”

I stood, unable to do anything but stare for a long moment. “Why you?” I asked finally.

"Because I'm the bleeding CO.”

"Oh,” I said softly.

He looked at the ground. “Please, Mina. Go inside.” And he turned and walked away.


  1. wow... talk about a twist.. Two gold stars

  2. Do you know what I love in a novel? Great dialogue? Do you know what your novel has?


  3. "Compared to seeing someone get riddled with shrapnel, it isn't.” - Love.

    "I had the faint sense that I was being ridiculous" - Love.


  4. Really wonderful dialogue, like Amna said!

    And I'm immediately intrigued--I want to know what happens next :)

    Congrats on the word slashing!

    And yes, I fiddle with my TTs a lot too! Like stare at it for half an hour before working up the courage to post anything :p

  5. *feels all warm and fuzzy inside* Thanks, guys. =D

    *is unable to get huge grin off her face*

  6. Wow, I didn't see that coming! I want to know what happens next!

    Plus, I love Sade. I love how he says "love"

    And congrats on the word cuttage!

  7. caniaskformore?

  8. =D Yay! Thanks, Raven! *is extremely happy Raven likes Sade*

    LOL! Thanks Bee! *feels special* Hope you get your space bar fixed soon!

    *overuses astrals*

  9. Very nice Teaser, i have to admit i missed a few in there but you do a great job with dialogue *jealous* I can never get mine right.
    Can't wait till next Tuesday! XD